the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i think i have two assholes
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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