i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
