you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize