i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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