Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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