So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
