it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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