Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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