Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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