she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
