im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
