even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
