Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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