I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
