Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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