Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
