i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
