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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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