not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize