Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
