I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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