i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I want her autograph on my taint
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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