Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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