spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
