Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
