new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
