I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so let's talk penis.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
