Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize