it wasn't lemon gatorade
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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