i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
two words...techno handjob
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
