these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You dont lie about slip and slides
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
