we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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