How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
