Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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