Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
