I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
