Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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