he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
In the future we'll all be gay
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
