I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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