It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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