As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm having to shit out rocks
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize