Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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