I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
