By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
