you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
