can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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