He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
