GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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