I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
porn star boner night. come get it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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