I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
