Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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