I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
