:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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