She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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