i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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