So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
